It's summer at my house!

It’s summer! 

Not officially if you go by the dates on the calendar, but the moment you step a foot in my home you will understand what I mean.  School is out and all the children are home.  ALL of them.  And if by a chance you didn’t see them as you walked in the door, you would realize this home is occupied as you trip over objects in the hallway and hear the sounds of many voices.

If I’m being honest there were moments in early May and even as far back as April that made me start to panic about today.  About summer.  

How to occupy the time?

To endure the heat?

To make the most of the time “off”?

 To keep the children from wanting to hurt eachother?

To keep me from wanting to take a vacation- without them?

I was dreading it back then.   Don’t get me wrong, I was excited about not packing lunches (and all the mothers around the world said “Amen”), no more trips to the school, signing papers, checking grades online.  No more spelling words and flashcards- unless you are the overachieving type that keeps those going in the summer. No more intense conversations with school fried brains about focusing, or finishing work, or doing our best just because.  Those are done for the next 12 weeks and I am truly grateful.

I was dreading the “filling” the time.  

That is until God confronted my attitude.  A gentle whack upside my head reminded me- IT’S SUMMER!!!

My chance to make memories, teach a skill, develop character, have fun and love all over my kiddos.  It won’t happen for me the same way you do it.  You’re kids are different than mine.  You have different resources and opportunities.  

But your choice is the same as mine today.  Choose to be grateful and thankful for another summer.  Or to start the countdown til school starts again.

So “let it go” and have some fun.  Pull off the couch cushions and make a fort.  Get out the glue gun and dusty craft supplies and have some fun.  Shoot the darts with reckless abandon –ladies, let’s show them how it’s done.  If you want to get all crazy, pull out your tent and enjoy the backyard.  Eat breakfast for dinner, and dinner for breakfast.  Turn off the phone, shut down Instagram, say no to Twitter.  Be in the moment.  Create a moment.

IT’S SUMMER at my house and I couldn’t be more excited (except for the half of me that is still freaking out.) But I’m choosing to thrive and not just survive this summer.  I know our days won’t always look pretty and more times than I’d like, I’ll start counting the days.  But that’s alright because I keep coming back to this fantastic reality.  It’s summertime now.  It’s time to go play!

Super Cape

It’s strange that no matter how many times I take my Super Cape off, next time I turn around, I find myself wearing it again. Mind you, it’s not really a cape that anyone else can see. Never the less, it’s real. Not only that, it’s very heavy. And though I often don’t realize I’ve put it on, the weight of it becomes so crushing at times that it’s nearly impossible to keep going.

 Now if you know me, you might get a chuckle out of the thought that I “think” I am Super Mom. Or Super Wife. Or Super Friend, Super Daughter, or Super anything. I know right now you’re thinking about the goldfish and Kleenexes decorating my car. Or maybe you’ve seen the endless pile of mismatched socks and the shirt that belongs to “no one” that came out of the laundry last week and still hasn’t found a home. Maybe it’s the fact that my floors are dirty, still, again or that last night’s dinner has left remnants on the table. You may chuckle because you know that despite my best efforts my children still leave towels and shoes around the house and nearly 9 months AFTER we started making our beds in the morning before school, it still seems like an optional task.

If you didn’t know me before, then you’re welcome for giving you a little glimpse into my world. I am a wife, a mother to 5 precious children, a friend, a sister, a daughter, a ministry leader and the list goes on. And for some reason I keep putting on that darn Super Cape and trying to do it all. The worst part about my Cape, no else sees it. You know what that means. No one else appreciates the efforts I make to make sure it stays on securely, repairing it’s tears and gently removing it when I slam it in the door.

You see the funny thing about my Cape is that when I’m wearing it, usually the only thing it reminds me of is how I’m not measuring up. My fears and failures, my insecurities and inadequacies become magnified. Instead of being thankful for my roles and responsibilities, I am overly aware of my shortcomings and weaknesses. Instead of being confident in my abilities and boundaries I become doubtful of my offerings and availability.

Because it’s not a fun place to be, I’m hoping you can’t relate. But just in case you do, hang in there. I’ve got some good news for you. And me. But first let’s start with the obvious. You see, when I am concerned about being all things to all people, I end up critical of myself for only being some things to some people. I know that. You know that. But the way my emotions have been dictating my attitude this week, I’m pretty sure I’m having a hard time believing it.

You see this week, I have intended to be grateful. I have tried to be content. I’m failing. Nearly every conversation and every interaction has left me wondering what else I could possibly fall short on. And then the list gets longer. Don’t get me wrong, you’d think I was doing fine- it’s just that inside I’m falling apart.

Deep down, I’m wishing you could see my Cape the way I see it. The times I hold my tongue so that I can be Super Wife, the times I’ve said “yes” and the times I’ve said “no” so that our children have balance. The texts, cards, Scripture verses and meals I’ve provided to friends to let them know I care and I am walking this journey of life with them. The prayers I’ve prayed for my sister and her unborn baby, and my parents, my newly widowed father-in-law and fellow ministry partners. I’ve let my focus get off track and now the weight of my Cape is unbearable. So, today I’m taking it off. I’m sorry you didn’t get to see it but it wasn’t that great anyway.

Today I’m taking my thoughts captive and surrendering them to Christ. Today I am thinking about those things that are true and lovely (and yes, they have to be both) and admirable and trustworthy. Today I am declaring that my approval comes from the way my Father sees me, and nothing else.

Now here is the good news. And I’m definitely not wanting to brag, but I don’t know if you realize this: I am chosen. I am redeemed. I am forgiven. I am enough. I am complete in Christ. I am sealed with the Holy Spirit. I am set apart for a purpose.

And so are you.

Galatians 1:10 says, “For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I still striving to please men?”

I’m glad you didn’t ask me that yesterday because I’m pretty sure I would not have wanted to answer. But today, now that’s a new story. Today I am striving to please the Lord. And the cool thing about that is that Jesus already did the work. Did someone say, “halleluiah!”?

I know I’ll fall short today. Like forgetting an essential ingredient for dinner or sending an empty envelope to school that was supposed to have money in it for a field trip. But that’s okay. Because today I’ve changed my focus. I’m looking at Christ. In Him there is full approval. In Him I am complete.

And I am learning, when my focus is on Christ, there is joy in my life.

So today if my steps seem a little lighter, and I’m throwing caution to the wind- you’ll know why. I took my Cape off today, and I didn’t even cry.